The Power of Friendships

 The Power of Friendships and the Impact They Have On Us.

What is Friendship?

Let me first define what friendship is? Friendship is a deep and meaningful relationship between two or more individuals. This is characterized by mutual affection, trust, understanding and support. It is a bond that goes beyond mere acquaintanceship, in a friendship, people genuinely care for each other's well-being and enjoy spending time together.

 In a friendship there is support of one another when needed. It can be emotional, physical or whatever support is needed at that time. In a friendship, there is listening to each other, being kind and sharing as well as trusting each other. Healthy friends care about one another, they give each other compliments and treat each other with respect. Friends also spend time together and have fun together.  

It is normally easy for people to use the word "friend" without actually thinking about its deeper meaning. At school, children of primary school going age use the word friend so much. Teenagers in high school find it easy as well to call everyone they hang out with as a friend. At work, you find people calling each other friends just because, they so much time together during the day, discussing work, projects which have deadlines coming up. Some even hang out during lunch hours, and other go so far as spending time together outside working hours during weekends and hangout. But are they really friends, or its because they're into other's faces such that they feel like friends?

The truth is, the word friend gets thrown around a lot, often times people not giving it much thought. I don't know how many times my youngest daughter has come from school and told me a story of what happened at school and she makes mention of a name that is new to me, and she says its her friend. Its not to say I don't want her making friends, a part of her growing up and integrating into society is her being able to socialize with her peers and make friends. The point here is, during formative years, children find it easier to make friends, and call everyone they play with as a friend. 

I have misgivings though with people who find it so easy to call you friend at work. I normally take those with a pinch of salt. Because, if we are adults and we meet at work, it means  we've sailed through the stages of life, from pre-school, to primary, through high school and varsity. It means we've  made true friends with people outside work, people we've grown up with. The dynamics of the work place are so complex. People cannot easily differentiate that at work, we are colleagues, people we work with and it is usually nothing more than that. Some usually force themselves on you, calling you a friend even though you're not vibing at that level. 

My circle is very very small, I can count them in just one hand and that's okay. Previously I had five friends and over the years I am left with two friends, and they're perfect for me. I've realized that its not how big the circle is, but the quality of your circle. You now what they say, birds of the same feather, flock together, yeah! 

"Sometimes, just spending some quality time with good friends is the only therapy you need"

The idea though when it comes to friendships and making friends, is finding one that has the same values as you. One that speaks empowerment and motivation to your life, and you're also able to do the same. A friend that holds the space for you to be who you are and doesn't require you to change yourself for them. A friend that listens to you and give you the space to voice out your fears, your doubts and you're vulnerable with them. I have one particular friend who we can basically rumble about any topic beneath the sun, yet at the end of each conversation, we've either empowered each other, shared ideas and information, given advice and points, or we've just bounced off ideas.

The Impact Friendships Have on Us

Friends can negatively or positively impact you depending of the type of people you are friends with. Some people do not have it in them to be giving, they only take, take and take. And that as the friend who is always giving, can leave you drained and not want to be around the taker. I've  personally met such people and I realized soon enough that, I am better off alone without anybody keeping me company than being with a taker. Such drains you of your energy and end u being resentful towards them. 

Some friendships can positively impact you as an individual and make you grow as a person. A positively impactful friendship is one where, it natures you for growth, where it encourages you to explore your talents and capabilities without inhibition. This friendship is not judgmental, filled with envy or competition. Its basically an expression of love and wanting to see the other person win.

Key Elements of Friendship

Look for the following key elements, the next time you try and make friends with someone.

1. Mutual Respect- see if there is any regard of each other's feelings, opinions, and boundaries. Good friends treat each other with kindness and consideration.
2. Trust and Loyalty- friendship is built on trust, and the individuals feel safe and confident in sharing personal thoughts, experiences and vulnerabilities. Friends are loyal to each other, maintain confidentiality and stand by one another during challenges.
3. Shared Interests and Activities- friends often share common interests, hobbies or activities that they enjoy together. These shared interests help create shared memories and deepen the bond between friends.
4. Emotional Support- friends provide emotional support, offering a listening ear, empathy and encouragement. They are there to celebrate each other's success and provide comfort during difficult times. 
5. Non-judgmental & Acceptance- true friends accept each other for who they are, embracing their strengths and weaknesses without judgement. They create a space where individuals can be their authentic selves without fear of rejection. 
6. Reciprocity- friendship involves a give-and-take dynamic where both parties contribute to the relationship. Friends offer support, assistance and care for each other, fostering a balanced connection.
7. Communication- open and honest communication is vital in friendships. Friends actively listen to one another, express their thoughts and feelings and resolve conflicts through speaking.

In all honesty, friendship can bring joy, companionship. and a sense of belonging to people's lives. It plays a crucial role in providing emotional well-being, personal growth, and a support system during various stages of life and challenges. I hope this will help you in choosing wisely when making friends.